burning alive
by Mia-Zeklos
Summary: "It was the strangest feeling and Rey hadn't been able to shake it off ever since she'd woken up this morning."


**Notes:** ** _"Rey has never had an orgasm and doesn't know what it is. The force bond causes her to interrupt Kylo masturbating, and she feels him nearing the edge through the bond, but he stops when he realizes she's there and the connection breaks. Sexually frustrated Rey convinces him to teach her how to orgasm via mutual masturbation through the force bond."_**

 **So I was technically planning to delve into this fandom a little more before going straight for the smut, but then I saw the prompt above and it was over for me. Also this is my second ever fic for them, my first one about masturbation and my first explicit fic in a while, so it's been... a journey. Hope you enjoy it and feedback is always welcome!  
**

* * *

Rey turned to her other side again, desperately seeking any spot on her makeshift bed that didn't feel like it would catch fire any moment. It was bad enough that it was unbelievably hot outside – the planet they had ended up on this time was warm enough to remind her of home altogether too much – and that she'd barely been able to sleep even when dressed in nothing but the long piece of cloth she'd wrapped around herself last night, but there was _this_ too, now, and she was starting to get increasingly aggravated with it.

It was the strangest feeling and Rey hadn't been able to shake it off ever since she'd woken up this morning. It made her skin feel clammy and heated and it made _her_ feel like she wanted to jump out of her skin, but she hadn't found the source of it yet. If the climate had been any friendlier than it was, she thought she could have gone for a run to make it easier to handle, but under the current circumstances, she feared that she'd deepen the issue. Or make it better, she wasn't sure – there was an undercurrent of something pleasant to it that she couldn't pinpoint, but her irritation was enough to almost entirely drown it out.

Despite her best efforts, there was a sneaking suspicion in the back of her mind that Rey couldn't quite ignore. This _wasn't_ the first time she had experienced something of the sort in the recent past and while it was more concentrated now than it had been before, she was almost certain who was to blame. Proving herself right had a price that she wouldn't usually be ready to pay, but if that's what it took for it to stop, then there was only so much that she could do.

Rey closed her eyes and tried to focus.

The force bond had been an endless source of frustration for months now. She and Ben had come to the unsaid agreement that it was impossible to block it without learning how to fully control it and they had been communicating about it every now and then strictly for practicing. Nothing else was ever mentioned – the war or their respective plans or the events that had transpired during their last meeting didn't exist during those times for both their sakes and Rey was content with that. Trying to initiate a connection because she wanted to check in on whatever it was he was doing was crossing a boundary neither of them had neared ever since Crait and if she hadn't been so fed up with the disturbances that came hand in hand with it, Rey would have never made that step. She'd run out of choices, though – she'd have to take that risk if it meant getting some answers.

It was surprisingly easy. The walls around Ben's mind were usually nearly impenetrable no matter what she tried; moments when his emotions took over seemed to be the only exception to that rule. And this just now: it wasn't an _emotion_ , precisely, but it wasn't unlike one either. The sensations that overwhelmed him were a heightened version of what she felt and Rey finally dared to look at him when he held back the gasp that came along with another surge of the same— whatever it was, really.

At first, beyond the already familiar impression of how out of place he looked surrounded by whatever room she had been given for the time being, Rey thought that he was in pain. Wherever he was, he was clearly lying on a bed as well and it was what his expression spoke of – eyes clenched shut, body completely tense and him biting his lip so hard that she could feel the hint of his teeth on the sensitive skin if she concentrated hard enough – but everything else was off for that. She knew what it felt like when he was hurting and it was as far from this as it could get and, as everything on his end of the bond got that little bit more urgent, she took him in carefully for any sign of discomfort. He was almost fully clothed and there was nothing visibly different from every other time she had seen him, only—

Rey looked away, embarrassment and shock taking over any interest and (entirely hypothetical) concern she might have felt. He wasn't in pain. At _all_. And if she had only realised, had paid closer attention to the signals coming from him, then she would have left far earlier, but how had she been supposed to know? This, whatever it was, was so incredibly _personal_ and her mortification must have been even more overwhelming than what he was feeling – he was shocked too and the sentiment was followed by another unexpected wave of heat that seemed to surprise him as much as it had her.

"I didn't want to," Rey started, voice strangled, but then it was too late – the connection shorted out and she was left alone in her bed just like before, only this time it was so much _worse_. She barely had enough time to take a breath before the feeling overwhelmed her again, strong enough to make her whimper and bite into her fist to stop herself from making too much noise. She could feel the muscles of her thighs tensing up on an instinct she had never encountered before and little else, but it did nothing to ease the restless energy pulsing through her veins. If anything, it provided the tease of stimulation but nothing else and that somehow makes her even more desperate for anything at all that could get her the same release that Ben had apparently managed to achieve.

Who would have guessed? Now that she actively tried to think about it, Rey was vaguely aware of the fact that touching someone's body in certain ways could be pleasurable, but she had never really dwelled on it before – had had no _reason_ to – and there was no way she could think of to check out more about it without someone finding out. There was always her datapad, of course, but what was she supposed to search on it?

Inexplicably feeling her face flush again, Rey slid one of her hands under the paper-thin blanket she had thrown over the bed last night and reached down, trailing her fingers over her stomach, down to where she thought she'd felt the centre of the pleasure, and huffed when she felt nothing. It was just the feeling of skin on skin, nothing more, and Rey didn't know what she was supposed to do to invoke the result from before.

Maybe she didn't have to. It had been _interesting_ , but— it wasn't like Rey hadn't lived her entire life without it. She had managed just fine. She would just have to avoid ending up in the same situation ever again. It wouldn't be too difficult – she could recognise what was happening now and, considering that he hadn't tried to get in touch afterwards, Ben likely felt the same way.

Nothing had to change, Rey tried to convince herself as she finally got up from her bed and started getting ready for the day. Nothing at all.

 **o.O.o**

"This needs to stop," Rey informed him one day and had the pleasure of seeing Ben startle out of his blissed-out expression to look at her. It had happened during the planning of something _important_ – what exactly, she could no longer remember and if the situation hadn't been quite so ridiculous, she would have thought that he could tell somehow and was doing it on purpose. As it were, she'd just waited it out this time and had decided to make an appearance afterwards. It didn't matter how uncomfortable it would be; she couldn't _work_ like this.

Ben didn't move. She had given him long enough to put himself together and his appearance would have been nothing out of the usual if it hadn't been for the brush of red colouring his cheeks and the state of his hair. It was all over the place, as if someone had been pulling on it, and after a torturously long week of suppressed curiosity, Rey felt a faint echo of what she'd experienced before rise up again at the thought. It was entirely random, then, wasn't it? It was the only explanation possible. There was no way such a prospect could be appealing to anyone.

Was there?

She'd tried to stifle the thought before it had had the chance to get to him, but it was too late: his face brightened when the glimpse of the image that had manifested in her mind reached him. If it had any effect at all, he didn't voice it.

"What needs to stop?"

Were they really going to do this? " _This_." Rey motioned towards him where he was sprawled on her – _his_ , technically – bed. "Or you need to learn to block me out better. I know it doesn't work like this, but—" Her voice faltered. She hadn't meant to be so honest, but she had never actually learnt how to keep anything from him. "It's getting in my way and it depends even less on me than it does on you."

Ben's eyes widened and for a horrible instant, Rey thought that he was going to laugh. Instead, he turned on his side to take a better look at her. "You don't know what I was doing."

It wasn't a question. Rey resisted the urge to look away. "No."

He turned away again to stare at the ceiling instead like he didn't even know where to begin. "It's just something that people do sometimes." He had never had to explain anything like this to anyone; she didn't have to check through the Force to know. The small, sardonic smile Ben sent her way did nothing to make the situation any better. "It's supposed to help you relax."

" _Relax_?" She'd been wound up all week and it was somehow supposed to be a good thing? Rey had long since suspected that there was a masochistic streak in him, but this sounded unbelievable even for him. "How?"

It was his turn to squirm in his place now. "It just does. You have to do it when you're on your own; that's the point."

The last thing Rey wanted was to show just how clueless she was, but, "It didn't feel that way for me."

"Because you didn't actually _do_ anything." When she didn't react, Ben sighed. "This isn't like the meditation and the exercises we do. I don't know if we can treat it the same way."

"We could try." _Or you could stop_ , she wanted to say, but it wasn't what she wanted anymore, really. What she wanted was to know more; know how to feel the way he had – weightless and blissful as if the world had ceased to exist for at least as long as the excitement lasted. Experiencing it with him had been like nothing else and she could only imagine what it would be to have it for herself. "If you don't help me, I could always find another way and then it'll just be inconvenient for us both."

Much to Rey's relief, he didn't seem to call her bluff. "It might not be a good idea. The bond—"

"It doesn't matter." She didn't want to sound too eager, but it was getting so difficult. "It's just training like any other, isn't it?"

"It could be." It wasn't. Neither of them was going to say it. "You might want to take your clothes off."

It wasn't much of a challenge. With the dress she had been given to battle the weather in the base, Rey felt almost naked anyway and what did it matter? This was a lesson. Chancing one last look at the door of her room – the biggest privacy she could afford here – she took a deep breath, slid the garment over her head and tossed it aside.

Now that she was _actually_ undressed, the argument about it being just a lesson sounded significantly less convincing. Ben was barely even looking at her, his attention focused somewhere on the wall behind her with an amount of determination that would have been admirable in any other case, and Rey curled in on herself, crossing her arms across her chest and drawing her legs closer to her body like that was going to help any.

"Now what?"

"Give me your hand. You're going to need it," Ben snapped when she narrowed her eyes. "How do you expect this to work?"

He didn't know what he was doing either. A sudden rush of half-visible memories went through Rey's mind as he brought them to the surface, but they didn't show much at all; not apart from a few stray kisses here and there, years ago.

But his fingers wrapped around her wrist with more confidence than she'd expected and Rey let her body unfold by a fraction as he slid her hand down her front, just like she had done a few days ago. It worked much better now and for a moment she wondered what she'd been doing wrong back then. The mechanics were the same, but there was something about him— it was the bond, she supposed. It had to be. It accelerated everything they felt. That was why they were here in the first place.

"Close your eyes." She did. "Think of something pleasant."

Really? That was it? "Like what?"

An annoyed scoff. "How am I supposed to know? Have you never found anyone attractive?"

"Of course I have." There was no way this was all there was to it. "Is that enough?"

"It will be if you try hard enough." His grip around her arm tightened slightly and he led her even further down until she felt her own fingers tease her opening. Rey flexed them without giving it much thought and shuddered more at the effect it had on Ben than on her. It was _nice_ , she supposed, but it didn't compare to what she had felt before – or the way this, right now, affected him. It didn't make sense but right now, it didn't really matter. "You just need to focus."

Rey curled her fingers slightly when he urged her to with his touch, but the only image that came to mind was the one that she'd seen right before closing her eyes – him staring down at her, resolute to be as immaculate at this as he strived to be at everything else. "Do I _need_ to?" She didn't think she'd manage to think about anything different despite her efforts.

"Whatever gets the job done." His tone spelled irritation, but his fingers were burning where they were entwined with hers; his mind's presence just as heated as it had been when they had first established contact this way. He faltered when she nodded for him to continue. "I think— you might want to press harder. Here." He adjusted the angle of her wrist and Rey gasped, toes curling convulsively as she finally reached _something_ that produced the effect that she'd hoped for. "How does this feel?"

"It's good." She'd have to learn to do this on her own, she thought, but it felt so good when she _wasn't_ actually alone. Ben wasn't really here and any touch through the bond never felt quite as solid as a real one did, but it was still far better than when she had tried it before. Granted, she hadn't known where to even start, but. It wasn't enough. Clearing her throat so that she could sound as composed as possible – _this is a lesson_ – Rey spoke again. "Show me more."

His fingers were covering hers entirely now; not touching her as they could have but guiding her just enough for her to be able to tell what worked and set the pace as she liked it. All remnants of modesty forgotten, Rey leant against the wall behind her back, her free hand wrapping around his elbow to keep him in place even though she knew – could sense – that he wasn't going anywhere. The tension was finally building up inside her and the movement felt much easier now with how uncomfortably _wet_ she was, and it was much stronger than it'd felt when it had been just Ben's; the tingling of her skin making her giddy and devastatingly focused all at once.

She let go just to reach for her chest and the same sort of pleasure that had sparked there too – every part of her was so _sensitive_ all of a sudden, like her body had ignited from the inside out – and just let herself _touch_ until she thought she'd found every single spot that fuelled the fire. There were more, though, there had to be, and the thought made her greedy – her breasts temporarily forgotten, she broke her own rhythm to press both their hands against her even harder, stilling for a moment when it became too much. She hung suspended over the edge of it for all of a second before the sensation she'd expected finally hit her.

It was nothing like Rey had expected; all consuming and overwhelming instead of the far simpler, perfect release that she'd expected. It made her want to evade all touch and encourage it at the same time but she couldn't do anything about it either way and Ben wasn't taking his hand away and maybe he would have if she had done it but it didn't make a difference, really; she felt as if they'd melted together at some point during the last minute.

 _Ben_.

His hair was the first thing she saw from him when she opened her eyes; he'd leant forward, leaning on the bed with his free hand as he tried to calm his ragged breathing.

"Did," her voice sounded as unsteady as she felt, "did you— too?"

She didn't even know the word for it. He didn't seem to care.

"Yes."

"Oh." Rey's mind was already waking up, offering several solutions to their situations and at least a dozen reasons, one of which stood out in particular. "Maybe it has to do with what we're thinking about. Maybe if we avoid thinking of each other—"

By the time she had said it, it was already too late to think of what she'd just implied – it had all started from him, after all – but Ben shook his head hastily in what she assumed was an affirmative anyway. "That would be the obvious solution."

Rey's entire being still felt light (that had been the result he'd been talking about, it would seem) and insubstantial and given his own state, she could guess that he felt the same way, no matter how much he'd let it affect him. And he had, or at least so she thought; he'd pulled away from her and seemed to have difficulty focusing on her as successfully as he had just minutes ago, choosing instead to lie back down on the bed.

It should have been simple, just one more thing to work on if they ever wanted to find a way to stay as far away from each other's minds as possible, and Rey didn't want to let reason weigh her down yet. She stifled a yawn against the back of her hand, the still present stickiness of her fingers making her grimace. "If that's sorted— Ben?"

He was asleep. He hadn't been anxious, apparently, just _exhausted_ , and Rey had to repress a laugh as the same sort of lethargy took over her as well. So _this_ was what he'd meant by calling it an easy way to relax? He hadn't even managed to remove himself from the bond first.

She wasn't about to bring it up. Still unable to hide her smile, Rey scooted down on the bed until she could rest on her pillow and pulled the blanket over them both before closing her eyes. Just in case.


End file.
